Email intros: Always do the double opt-in

Introducing two people without using a double opt-in intro is lazy and disrespectful. Good people will always do the double opt-in intro.

Author

Daniel S. Ruben
February 09, 2025

It’s surprisingly common that unexpected introductions to random people pop up in your inbox. These intros can be distracting, time-consuming, and annoying, and make people look bad. If you’re doing them, just stop. Instead, do the double opt-in intros.

What’s a single opt-in intro?

It’s basically where person A introduces you to person B via email, without person A first giving you a heads-up or even getting your consent to make the intro.

Here’s an example. Michael wants to introduce Lisa to his friend/contact Amy, so he sends an email to Amy, and CC’s Lisa.

Hey Amy,

I wanted to connect you to Lisa who runs BarkFuel, a subscription service delivering 100% nutritionally complete liquid meals for your dog with cool flavors like Squirrel Delight and Alley Salmon. It’s kinda like Soylent for Pets. BarkFuel is growing fast and the impact story is really strong too.

I felt you guys are in a similar space (pets), thinking about similar big problems etc so you should meet up / chat. I’ll leave it to you to connect.

Hope all is well.

Best,
Michael

This intro sucks, for several reasons:

  • No respect for recipient’s time. This email takes Michael 30 seconds to write, but it commits lots of more time for Amy. She’s now expected to meet up in person, or at least do a Zoom call, with Lisa because Michael has a gut feeling it’d be a good idea. Not cool.

  • No real context. While Michael gives some vague, general detail on what Lisa does, Amy still has to do research on Lisa and BarkFuel to find out if they’re really doing something relevant to Amy’s work.

  • It makes both Amy and Lisa look bad. If Amy ignores the email (or responds to the email but declines a meeting) she looks like a prick. And Lisa also looks stupid. It’s a lose-lose situation.

Bottom-line: Don’t make intros like this. Especially to friends and contacts that you value.

Use double-opt in intros

Unlike the previous example, a double opt-in intro is the professional, respectful way to introduce people and not look like a terrible person. Here’s what it can look like (and this time, Lisa is not CC’ed).

Amy,

My friend Lisa — whom I’ve known from a long time and absolutely trust — runs BarkFuel, a subscription service delivering 100% nutritionally complete liquid meals for dogs. They are growing 10% month-over-month and have very loyal customers.

I remember you told me some time ago that you’re Board Chairman for a few veterinary clinics and that they’ve really struggled to find appropriate nutrient-dense meal replacements for pets with conditions like kidney disease and allergies.

Given that this is a pain point for you, I thought connecting Lisa with you could be helpful to discuss special pet diets. She’s happy to chat. I know Lisa has worked with other clinics on this, who now recommend BarkFuel’s products to pet owners as part of a comprehensive care plan.

Let me know if an email intro would be helpful and I’ll make it happen. If not useful, or you’re just too busy, no worries.

Hope to catch up soon!

Best,
Michael

Why this email is great:

  • Respect for Amy’s time. She’s not under any pressure to accept. Michael offers a nice ‘no worries’ out if she’s too busy or feel it’s not relevant.

  • Sufficient context. Michael explains why Lisa could be an interesting contact. He’s not lazy (stating something like 'you’re both working in the pet space’). Instead, he’s actually remembers a pain point that Amy had mentioned, and he thinks he might have a useful solution that could be beneficial for both Amy and Lisa.

  • No-one looks bad. Amy can easily opt out. Michael has provided something relevant, and comes across as helpful. And Lisa wasn’t looped in yet, which is good.

If you want to create valuable introductions between people that they will appreciate, learn how to make double opt-ins.

This post is a rewrite of this great piece that Anand Sanwal of CB Insights once wrote.